I was having a chat with my colleague Steph about our dating life and we inevitably got to dating sites. We had both been using POF with mixed results. The clear thing that came out of our talk was how interesting it was to hear the opinions from the other gender. The same issues came up from both sides, but it seems to be commonly recurring issues. I have therefore shared my biggest pet hates when on dating sites, to help you know what guys are clicking away from.
It doesn’t matter how attracted I am to someone, if they are pulling an identical face in each photo, I always seem to press back. The impression it gives is that they are vain and always want to look perfect in photos. The opposite is actually the best, being able to laugh and pull silly faces will show your personality through.
Oh, please stop with the duck face, it’s honestly painful.
When I go on to someone’s dating profile, I will spend a couple of seconds looking at their picture, but the majority of my time is spent looking at their bio, to find things you have in common. If they enjoy travel then it instantly catches my interest, while if they highlight how much time they spend watching soaps on TV then I lean away.
This is why it makes me confused how so many women choose to put ‘ask me’ on their description. I know it can be hard to write something up, but 90% of guys will see this and press backwards. You’re illustrating you are not really interested in dating, while you are also making it very difficult for a guy to build a connection.
The last thing you want is a message saying ‘Hi, How are you’, so share your passions and individual traits, so people can build an interesting message for you to read.
I Look Nothing Like My Picture
I want you to imagine this in reverse, how confused would you be to read this. This isn’t as common as the points above, but I have come across a few profiles which openly state they look nothing like their images. Well that is very confusing to read, as I will be looking out for that person.
You need to be true to others, but most importantly, true to yourself. Don’t hang on to that image of you a decade ago.
I refuse to accept anyone in modern society doesn’t have any distinctive interests. Whatever it is, jot it down. There are too many profiles which just list ‘cinema, eating, shopping’. We know you enjoy that. Everyone enjoys that, but it doesn’t help to build up an understanding of you as a person.
Did you used to want to be an actor? Do you have a secret passion for London museum’s? Are you hooked to books or are you a keen traveller? Whatever your personal interests are, spend a bit of time on this section, as this will double your response rate.
Princess & Diva
I can only speak for me and my mates, but we are constantly surprised about people openly choosing to put ‘diva’ as their personality type. The last thing we want is to start dating an insanely demanding diva. To a lesser degree, the same could be said about a ‘princess’.
Princess isn’t as bad, as without meaning to sound cheesy, every woman should find a man who treats them like a princess. However the term implies other negative connotations, such as being self-centred and with very expensive taste. Once again though, this doesn’t even slightly touch how bad it looks to call yourself a diva.
Try looking at a few other profiles from the same gender as you and you will quickly pick up on little ways to improve your profile and to make you stand out, so you can meet that someone special.